ARE

The constant crashing
of the waves onto the shore
have always seduced me
When I close my eyes
it feels like they ARE
coming straight at me
I love the ocean
because it is so large
Seems to have all the answers

The cool wind muffles my ears
and caresses my face
like a mothers hand
would her child
I love the scent of the sea
so soft, so familiar.
The incessant waves ARE
like a pulse; my heart beat

I am in love with her.

The colors, the colors ARE
just as soft , pale when it counts
muted where it's supposed to
Never too much
Selfless; giving of its beauty
Which is boundless and eternal
Barely there blue,
grey hints under the clouds,
the sand, like skin
The water, grey green

A mix of the tall grass
and the grey shirt of the small girl
running along beside it
She's almost camouflaged
Her dad plays with
her sisters who ARE
in pink and orange
Beautiful
The colors of love?
I hope they ARE



-9-04-09

♥aquAmor♥

A steady stream
A raging river
A slow drip
Mountains it withers
The infinite depth
Of the ocean
Heavenly tears
Used for consumption
Still and constant in a pond
It leaps into the horizon beyond
It rules the earth and does not care
Sometimes in the rush of a tsunami
or a drop of drizzle on your hair
It can be a powerful and oppressive force
Or a gentle touch of a damp morning dew
Quenching your thirst it’s a relief of course
But it can suffocate and drown under the blue
Crashing waves, small ripples too
A self professed paradox
The wet feeling comes over you
As you carelessly jump off the docks
Silence becomes the surrounding
Suddenly, vision is not clear
Gravity stops existing
And you are consumed with fear
It is never solid
It is all a hazy blur
I have never doubted
My love is like water
It can make your flowers bloom
It can make your basement flood
It might just be too soon
It might be thick like blood
Never sure of what it is
Never certain of its state
Flow, drip, splash, or fizz
Forever early, forever late
Changing with the weather
The wind knows its direction
For you and me to be together
Heaven and earth must find a connection
So there won’t be a storm
And there won’t be a drought
Just know you have been forewarned
If you want to figure it out
I will cease on being so discreet
About what it is you need to do
All this liquid love really needs
Is heat to shower all over you

© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

*astericks*

When I look into the darkness I pretend I see stars
each one glitters and twinkles despite the darkness that engulfs it
they represent the souls that roam the tired earth
and I look to each shine as a flicker of hope.
An endless sea of anticipation
the patience to wait for a better day
an immovable faith that transcends all existence
and all that is at work to destroy its sake
If this star ceases to shine
it might as well have never been created
fore it will be a mass of darkness
a worthless piece of matter floating without purpose
What a waste this would be
what a pointless tragedy
If it were up to me
I would make a decree
That no matter how small
dim, distant, or powerless
a star is, it will shine
until the end of days
It will persevere and endure
constant in its nature
so that its fate would be fulfilled
and its light never concealed
As I stretch my arm to reach it in vain
I am grateful that it is higher than me
A constant hope for me to obtain
A reminder of who I am meant to be.
Just as a light tower stands firm on a foggy hill
for the sake of all vessels floating in the dark
A beacon to follow ever present ever still
amongst the treacherous path they have embarked
I too will stand against weather, time, fear and foe
I will be the constant that shines for all to see
Never waning in my resolve. Clear is my destiny
to remain until the long awaited moment when I must go.

JeOpARDi

I love a question that can not be answered.
I wonder how many people would go to my funeral.
Can my deepest desires come true if i will it so?
Each human is out for themselves.
Should I hold on to what we have in common?
Why should I?
Should I actually do what I should or want?
You are you and I am me.
We live our lives separately.
What would be the consequence if i don't
care about what happens to you?
I do not hate you. I do not love you.
If you are there or if you are not there
it is of no consequence to me.
Will i be punished if i do not care?
Who will punish me?
I love to be alone sometimes.
No country. No surname. No race. No allegiance.
The simple action of living and being human
is overwhelming and enough to contemplate.
Never mind my interaction with another
human specimen like myself.
Should I share my presence with you?
Should I share my humaness?
If i do not benefit from this connection should that matter?
I want to lay down and open my eyes.
My joy is the shade of blue in the sky.
I am uplifted by the clouds that glide by.
The effect colors have on me is exciting.
Is it my obligation to do anything more than this?
Do I owe you something for what you have done for me
even though I never asked for anything from you?
What do you want from me?
Do you dare say what it really is?
Are you conscience of it or are your desires
hidden and locked away even from you?
You may resent me for what I am saying
but i do not know if i have to care if you do or do not?
I rather not care but my emotions are so relative
that I can not be sure myself
of what I rather do, feel, say or see.
So what does all this mean?
I have not the slightest idea but
I love a question that can not be answered.

Heavenly Chords

I was born on concrete
Dust and dirt were under your feet
Abandoned baby carriages litter my street
Black slush, snow and sleet
Cracked blocks map my path
Crushed coffee cups, beer bottle caps
Are the countries on those cracked street maps
Northern to Roosevelt, you do the math
A long way when you're walking
Even longer when you're talking
The wind makes your skin feel frost bit
So you continue in silence like a candle unlit
Your head faces the moving floor
Above you sneakers on wires galore
They long to live, to be so much more
But there they hang on heavenly chords
Can you tell me what I do see?
A morning trek that seems suspect
Too many things that I detect
To be out of place and unordinary
But please tell me if I'm wrong
For I do not wish it so
A habitat where I can not grow
I can not stay for long
Beyond I see square giants
Many have become my clients
However through much defiance
One can never stop the violence
Each day I am under attack
The daily grind makes me grain
A poison which enters my brain
Defense to this I surely do lack
I am required by the powers that be
To prolong this daily journey
Despite what I feel inside
Capitalism makes me abide
To the rules and regulations
Of this glorious and rich nation
So who am I to complain?
One who conquers or someone to tame
To me the concrete grew from the ground
And natural energy will always be found
This view I hold from my birth
That all is free and forever on this earth
But you know better than I ever will
You've seen those who savagely kill
The ground once so green and pristine
Now a gridlock of steel and beams
Hold my hand and close your eyes
Imagine the world you once held inside
I will see through your vision, I beseech
A forever freedom I will one day reach

© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

Wise Words From a Friend.AMEN

"I know exactly how you're feeling. You're not crazy. It's not stupid thinking. If you only knew what goes on in my brain, but the word of God is clear "Be anxious for nothing but in everything through prayer and supplication make your requests known to the Lord" Of course I am paraphrasing.

Also how can we add another day to our lives by worry and being full of anxiety? You're just before a big puzzle and it seems scattered all over the place but this is when we need to allow God to step in and create peace. For the peace of the Lord surpasses all understanding. Many are the plans in a man's heart but the Lord directs them.

Again we're back to the word PASSION. You need to find that and you will only find it when we enter into intimacy with our Father. We're too used being in the driver's seat and we put God there and then we take him out. The steps of a good man or woman are ordered by the Lord. The Lord will give us the desires of our heart but we first need to let him know what they are. If we don't know because there are so many options that's when we need to pray for clarity, a decision making anointing for the Lord to enter into our thought life." - Poignant and powerful
© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

OMEGA

Through eyes of truth it is clear
The time is near, it is here
I hear the bridge leading
to the climactic Chorus
Can you hear it?
A sweet harmony along with tragedy
But both can no longer coincide
one cannot exist with the other
The pressure is mounting along the levee
at any moment it will burst
and out will gush the glory it held back
only the faithful heart will rise
the wicked will sink in despair
so we must all prepare
for what is to come.
Hurry hurry hurry
there are no more delays
listen to the earth
listen to its pain
groaning and moaning
and screeching for help
we are sleeping and living
in a world that is not real
when we arise
would we be surprised
at the place we are in
if we keep bathing in sin
what are we to think
of our future beyond this world
after gruesome evil has been unfurled
by our lies, greed and addiction
lust, hypocrisy, and corruption
will this become a revelation.

Apocalyptic times bring apocalyptic measures
before our eyes we see horrific treasures
we were not capable of imagining before
so what does the future have in store
for us, humankind, and our fate?
Can we change the outcome before its too late?
I'd rather be safe now than be sorry later
So I close my eyes and speak to our Creator
The only solace in this havoc of a place
The only way out; the only saving grace
I implore you to do as I do
What I am saying is true
I tell because I love you as a friend
Hopefully soon I will see you at the end.
© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

hErE and nOw

When I look outside my window
I see the world for how it could be
the suffering and devastation
is all a hazy calamity.
When I look into your eyes
Your soul and true self come through
the pain and hurt you feel
is all obstructed from view.
Your smile would return
If you could see it all through me
The cage you live in would burn
and like a bird you would be free.
Through the trrenches you have fought
and now the battle has left you bitter
Day to day you live and wonder
When situations will get better.
If you could only see with green eyes
Like the day that you were born
When the world was full of wild wonders
and nothing was ravaged or ever torn.
You would see all problems disappear
What you envision would become reality
Natural light would befall on you
and you would be filled with tranquility.
When the world has darkened all from sight
And not even a ray of light can be found
Close your eyes and create the hope
That will one day become the here and now.
© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

The 45 Seconds to read This

NOW
it is the sum of all that is history
it is the constant creation of life
every moment is palpable
and then it exists no longer
It never existed and it always exists
Do not ever dismiss it
every NOW has a value
that can not be appraised
it is wider than the spectrum of light
and deeper than all the oceans combined
more varied than all the notes and rhythms
that were ever thought of or created in music
what ghastly immensity
To some it is an evil entity
that chains its subjects down
and forces them into submission
it draws death closer with every pass
always new always old
ever blazing hot and ever bitter cold
To others it is sweeter than honey to the tongue
lighter than a feather in the wind
more comforting than a mothers touch
paradoxical, invisible and ever present
what to do what to do
can I hold it in my hand?
Would I be able to expose its true nature?
Is there anything to be exposed at all?
It covers me like my skin covers me
when I enter the darkness and shut my eyes
when My minds eye is wide open and keen
It is closer to me than ever before
when silence is the air that exists my mouth
I can hear it whispering and moving
in a way unknown to any soul
It unites every man, woman, child, thought,
country, ocean, planet, universe, galaxy,
all that is and all that is to be
must adhere to it and obey
such authority such grace
So I ask you, soul, at this moment NOW
What is consuming your every NOW?
You, soul, must choose which NOW will be your forever.
Efficiency, strategy must come into play,
or else, or else what?
Instead of you consuming the Now
It will consume you.
And you
will
end.

Skin Deep

Fleshy fleshy fleshy

creeping sneaking seeking

like a web growing slowly in the corner of my mind

making a home where it does not belong

high up in the mountain

a voice faintly calls me

an echo that transcends time and space

a spirit that lives and speaks through song

holy holy holy

we are meant to be

the signs we see do not hesitate

Not much more will we have to wait

pretty shiny things catch my eye

but I can not smell the rotten stink underneath

the gravity of the danger is not conscious to me

the lines have blurred between right and wrong

sensuous silky sapphire serpents

melt my skin into a gooey trance

As I follow stumbling blindly, through my eyes the cliff disappears

a deep chasm exists where a bridge once hung

Something was broken a long time ago

Before the land of time came to be

when darkness and light fought one another

and a great wind blew ever so strong

with eyes wide shut and standing still

I push through the suffocating thickness in the air

polluted with a death-like odor of the smog

the clanking of the chains crashing to the ground

ring in my ear like a cry warning for battle

the soothing sound of the calm before the storm

alerting the freedom to roam, the freedom to soar

that will soon overtake me

Do you hear it?

The Faintest Flicker

What if the moon did not shine?
What if the moon was lazy?
Where would the light
it is supposed to reflect go?
Perhaps it would disappear
or just stay hidden or worse
slowly fade away with each revolution.
What pressure it must feel.
To shine amongst the vast
darkness of the night.
To have to shine as best it can
compared to the source.
I would surely feel intimidated
to be so small compared to
the center of the universe.
But the moon can shine
where the sun can not.
The night would reign
if not for the moon.
Darkness would consume the earth,
leaving its inhabitants lost and blind.
This being true doubt and fear
consume this moon,
there are thousands of others just like it
in the universe, in the galaxy
and it's only made of rock and dust
sometimes it shines halfway
and now and then only a sliver
How can such a small shine matter?
It worries the world
can see it has a dark side
Sometimes it doesn't even shine at all.

Oh Moon, the truth you do not hold near,
your particular presence was not happenstance
Although there are so many
the earth has but one moon
This fact is not coincedence
and when you shine
this world can not see the darkness you bestow
for it yearns for the faintest of flickers of hope.
While you saw yourself as insignificant
and not as bright as the sun,
Little did you know that a burden was lifted
because you existed the world could see
Do not be discouraged in your darkest moment
Nothing will stay the same, the world will turn.
Although your vision is limited
know that your place in the sky is perfect
Trust in the light you shine
Because you therefore rely
on another light most divine.

The Bridge in We

Tomorrow the sun will rise
Tonight the moon will shine
In the blink of an eye
millions will have already died.
war is raw and raw is war
there is no other way to say
what it is or how it feels
why try when it is inevitable.
As these words are being written
I feel your pain I see your scars
In a different place and time
I hear your cry of torture and pain.
A voice so faint it is barely a whisper
but nevertheless it is a sound of despair
it exists in the world. It is real and is felt
by you, by me and hopefully by others
No country, president, sea or religion
can stop this existence or our connection
So do not fear. I can hear the call.
Toes freezing in a dark clammy basement
Large eyes straining to see in the dark
Starving stomach pains that numb your soul
There is no where else to go.
But alas, there is, the mind can be set free
and go anywhere it needs to be
in the sky, on a tree, in the sand by the sea
thriving in the open space of liberty
Shut your eyes Open your imagination
be caressed by your creation
In a limitless space what will you create?
What is your desire? What is your fate?
Joy abounds a heavy heart that can finally beat
Giddy giggles break loose the bitter chains
Possibility is no longer a cruel myth
Lift up your lowered head and breath
the air of relief that showers over you
I have cried for you, I see you in my dreams
So fragile, delicate, still and sirene
Little one I will come to you
Be patient, be calm , and forever know
that I love you.

fart art
starts with hearts of darts and define the lost mind
that has regressed behind in the daily grind
of our sad time so far from sublime......to the degree that its a crime.....
without reason or ryhme.....to ever reach the divine...
we have become swine...consuming visual slime...
and this binds the greatness that lives inside
the savants of a past tribe .....
described by eloquence, depth and pride....
in this chasm divide
can we we find the vision of the blind....
that would allow a slide
of a glory we should abide and subscribe
to and never hide from with the changing tide
of the herded ride of men.......into the open and wide side
of ignorance of those who have lied and continuously spied
on their pasture who have cried for truth and justice.....without bias or bride
with the enemys who will one day die.....
can we ever see with our cerebral eye......
and deny the falsehood of the virtual sky.....
flesh and bone are packaged for someone to buy and sell
and to this i despise all lies and propose its immediate demise ......
without compromise or rise to lows or highs of guys in desgiuse
So keep your eyes on the prize

What is going On?

Killing yourself and others
America has lied to you
Trust never mattered
Revenge is surely due
Iraq spends your salvation
Nothing is left
A rage full of devastation

REGRET (3-16-04)

gnawing at my soul
I have no where else to go
reigning over my brain
without a care for pain
looking back without any possibility
of gaining that lost opportunity
turning into a pillar of salt
my life cannot continue;it will halt
what can reverse this dreaded regret
first, know that chance is gone and I must forget
second, proceed with my vitality
for while I was looking back in pity
engulfing my life was a new opportunity
third, and most important of all
one must never forfeit or fall
learn to rise in the occasion and cope
for the enemy of regret is dear hope
the past will always creep upon me
my job is to, with my will, make it flee
it must not prevail
or I will inevitably fail
I will look unto the future
with the lessons I have come to nurture
keeping my eyes constantly on the prize
before long that dreaded regret will become
a shrivelled petal that with a gentle wind of hope
is gone.